Where's Andrew

COBAN & MONTERRICO, GUATEMALA - APRIL 15 - 19

It's Sunday morning and I want to go to Koban in central Guatemala, from Panajachel I will need to go via Guate City. The hotel I stayed at wants to sell me a ticket direct to Koban for 450 Qzt (about $56US) which is super expensive for a bus ticket in Guatemala. Of course it is through one of these smaller shuttle buses. After finding no other alternate, I finally buy a ticket on a shuttle to Guate City for $140Qzt and I get the shuttle to drop me off at one of the city's main bus terminals that goes to Koban and within 15 minutes I'm on a nice coach style bus to Koban for another $70Qzl. I get into Koban at 5:30PM (an hour before sunset) and I check into the Hotel Dona Victoria.

There's a tour operator based in the hotel and I try to get a tour booked for the the next day to Semuc Champey which are some natural water pools and falls on a river and the tour also includes a visit to a cave. Unfortunately, there is no one booked to go the next day and they won't do a tour for less than 3 people. So, the next day I walk around Koban for a few hours. Koban is a fairly large city nestled in a mountain valley. It's main distinguishing feature is a large central park on a hill. Coban is a fair bit lower altitude than most of the other highlands and it's hot and muggy. I find the city quite uninteresting other than the main plaza next to a large chruch where hundreds of school children seem to be involved in some sort of public speaking contest. I soon return to my hotel and work on updating my blog and uploading photos. I am also able to book the tour for the next day.

It's about a 2 hour drive to Semuc Champey, the first 50kms is on a paved road while the next 22kms is on a gravel road. There are 7 of us on the tour, a couple from Texas, a couple from Israel and 2 women from Israel and myself. We are in a small shuttle bus along with our driver and our guide Thomas. Once we reach the gravel road, we drop down into a valley and come to a town of Lanquen and then its another 11km downhill to Semuc Champey. It's a 10 minute hike to the pools and they are beautiful. With the drop in altitude the temperature has increased and we are all looking forward to a swim.

There are numerous pools and Thomas leads us to each of them. When we are at the farthest away pool in the river, it begins to rain. And when it rains in Guatemala, it rains hard. Oh well, at least we are all already wet but our guide suddenly says we need to leave now and his unease is written all over his face. So we head back up to the first pool and then walk back to our van and the rain stops (it rained for about 45 minutes). We are now going back to Lanquen where the cave is located, however there is a steep hill just a few metres from the parking area and the van is not able to make it up the hill. The dirt and dust on the road has turned into a slippery mud and the van is only a rear wheel drive. The driver backs down a couple of times to take a large run at it but cannot make it up. The other 2 guys in the tour, myself and our guide get out to push while the 4 girls sit in the rear seat to help get some weight on the rear axle. We still are not able to get the van up the hill. A truck comes along with a bunch of people and they help us push the van up the hill but within a few hundred metres we come to another bigger hill. The truck is now  gone so its the 4 of us trying to push this van up the hill again. I'm in sandals and lose my footing in the mud and fall getting covered in thick gray mud. Finally, another truck comes and once again we have 5 or 6 more guys to help push the truck and we finally get it up this hill only to come to an even bigger and steeper hill. After another hour of trying to push the van up this hill with the guys from the truck helping and we give up. Thomas catches a ride to Lanquen to get a truck that can pull us up the hill. After about 20 minutes he is back and they connect a chain to pull the van wit a truck and off we go, There ae 2 or 3 more hills more to go including the steepest. This hill is even paved but we get stuck again and even the truck can't get enough traction to pull us up. So, we detach the truck from the chain and about 7 of us grab the chain and physically pull the van up the hill until it finally gets traction and then we finally make it to Lanquen. One tire is completely shot and needs to be changed and now it is too late for the cave portion of the tour which is just as well since we are all dirty and tired. I finally get dropped off back at the hotel around 8:00PM and I decide to try and get a partial refund on the $300Qzl tour. From the waist down, I'm covered in dried grey mud from my fall and all the mud that spinning wheels throws back, so even though the main desk person did not speak English, I soon was able to explain what had happened and she spoke with the tour poeple and we finally negotiated a $50Qzl refund. But the money would not come from the hotel, it would come from the tour company and they would drop it off by 9:00AM the next morning.

The next morning I'm heading to Monterrico on the Pacific coast and I know it will be a long travel day and I want to leave at 9:00AM. The power is out that morning and my room has no windows so it takes me forever to pack so I dont have time for breakfast but I'm now told the money will not arrive until 10:00AM. So I now have time for breakfast but can only get some fruit since the power is still out. At 10:00AM still no money, it's only about $6.50US but I was so annoyed about not having a 4-wheel drive vehicle that could make it up the hills that I want the money on principle. By 10:30AM it still has not arrived and I demand to speak to the hotel manager and presto I have the money. I get to the bus terminal in time to catch the 11:00AM bus to Gaute City and I then have to catch the last bus to Monterrico at 4:00PM. It's going to be close as it is a 4.5 to 5 hour bus ride to Gaute City. I get there at at 3:45PM but it turns out my bus leaves from a different bus terminal on the other side of town and I have no chance of getting there in time. So much for principles. There is an English speaking taxi driver named Byron who is at the bus terminal and he tells me that there is a Chicken Bus going to Montericco in 45 minutes at the south terminal and if we leave right now I should be able to catch it. So, I jump into Byron's cab and we are off. Rush hour is just starting and traffic is bad and it looks like we are going to just miss it but Byron says the buses never leave on time so as we get to the terminal at 4:40PM we see the bus just leaving. Byron does a quick U-turn and we chase down the bus. Byron talks to the driver about where I'm going and I'm off less a $100Qtz cab fare.

The chicken bus is actually pretty nice, all fixed up with lots of chrome. It's spotless inside and out and looks freshly painted. It also has a surprisingly good sound system including some nice subwoofers and the driver likes his music cranked. After about 2 hours, I know we must be getting close to Monterrico because its getting dark and I expected to be there around 6:30PM. The guy that collects the fairs and helps the people on and off the bus all of a sudden gives me a funny look and starts cursing, I was supposed to be dropped off a couple of stops back. He tells me not to worry and that the bus is almost at the end of the line and they will come back and drop me off. I notice that the town we are just entering was mentioned in my guide book and I'm pretty sure that Monterrico can only be accessed via a water taxi from here but I'm not positive and language is an issue with my poor Spanish. About 30 minutes go bye and I'm the only one on the bus, it's now 7:00PM and pitch dark and I'm not sure where we are in relation to Monterrico. After some discussion, I finally understand that the driver cannot just drop me off where I was supposed to get off as I have now missed the last connecting bus so he tells me he has arranged for someone to drive me by a car to Montericco for $50Qzl, at least this is what I thought he said. He drops me off where 2 guys are waiting and we jump into a beat up pickup and I am now doing the number 1 thing on my list of don't do things, which is don't go anywhere with local guys you don't know. These guys are early 50s and seem really nice so I'm hoping it's all ok but from what they are saying, we are not going to Monterrico and I need to take a boat. About 20 minutes later the guys drops me off at a small town and wants $100Qtz for the ride. I try to explain that the deal was $50Qzl but he is adamant that it is $100Qtz so I pay him.

A women named Jennifer is waiting for me with a boat, she wants $150Qzt to take me to Monterrico but I only have $110 left. I should have gone to an ATM that morning but did not think I would be spending so much money getting to Monterrico and there is no ATM in this town. Jennifer finally agrees to take me if I go to an ATM to get more money as soon we get there. The boat trip takes about 15 mintes through a Mangrove swamp and I'm being eaten alive by mosquitos. It's a strange trip in the pitch dark and Jennifer's young daughter joins us for the ride so she is obviously not worried. When we get to Monterrico, the main ATM is out of service and the other one is in a store that is now closed. I tell Jennifer that it is OK because I have an emergency $100US bill stashed away and I can use it to pay at the hotel and pay her with the change, which I do. It's about 8:30PM when we get to Johnny's Place and I have not had a meal since the fruit salad at breakfast, I'm so happy to be there and that the restaurant is open. Next time I will not worry about the principle because that $6.50 I got back was not worth it. And Emma and Marley, don't ever do what Uncle Andrew did and get in a car with people you don't know.

I can hear the sound of the surf pounding as I have dinner and the hotel/restaurant is right on the beach but its pitch black so I can't see anything. The waves must be big with the amount of low base sound to them. I'm up early and decide to go for a walk along the beach. The beach is black volcanic sand and stretches on for miles and is very steep. The ocean looks very calm with 2 - 3 foot swells coming in but I'm surprised how big these swells get right at the beach and they come crashing in about 5 feet offshore. I can't imagine trying to go swimming as the waves would just pound you. I'm sure the waves get huge here when it's not so calm out. I walk for almost 3 hours before I get back to the hotel. As I leave the surfline that I have been walking, I can't believe how hot the sand has become and I make a sprint for the hotel as my feet are burning. After breakfast, I decide I better replentish my cash but both ATMs in town are out of service. I want to leave for El Salvador the next morning and don't want to risk the ATMs still being out of service, so aI catch a small local shuttle to the next town called Iztapa abouth 20kms north. It is a small fishing village known for its spectacular Sailfish fishing. Almost every world record for quantity of catch is from Iztapa, in 2006, 5 anglers on 1 boat in 1 day caught and released 124 Sailfish. I checked to see what a boat would cost for a day, they fish 40km offshore and I could get a 26ft boat for $1000 a day. I would have done it if I had someone to split the cost with. I have a nice lunch there and hear some good fish stories from 3 Americans who are waiting for the airport shuttle bus to come take them back to Guate City. They caught around 100 saifish in 5 days. Well, the bank machine worked in Iztapa and I took out enough money to get me safely into El Salvador with about $400Qtz ($55US) to spare. El Salvador uses US currency and I figured I would replace my emergency cash there.

I always felt completely safe while travelling Guatemala but there was always a small under current telling me that security issues were not far away, There were the huge police and military presence on the streets and highways with assault type weapons. It was not unusual for a hotel to have one or two 24-hour guards usually armed with pistol grip shotguns. Large grocery stores and malls had security guards with machine guns or shotguns which gives new meaning to the term "Mall Cop." Banks would have at least 2 guards, one manning the security double doors where the outer door has to close before the inner door can open and the other would be in the bank.

I stick out like a sore thumb in Guatemala. Over 40% of the population is indiginous pure blood decendents of the Mayans. Most of the rest of the population is mixed Mayan and European decent but much more Mayan than European in general. The average Gautemalan man is between 5 feet to 5' 4", and the average women is between 4' 6" to 5 feet. It was not unusual to see women under 4 feet tall. There are many street peddlers every where you go and they are always women or children. They are very persuasive and often speak quite good English. Being 6'2", I'm easy to spot among the crowds so I always seem to have a few of the peddlers trying to sell me textiles or jewelry. One night this young women would not leave me alone while I was having dinner and was determined to sell me something. At first I thought she was a young girl as she was about 4 feet tall, but she had a 6 year old son and I realized she was much older than I thought. Her and her son showed me every item she had about 3 times each. She had a very high pitched voice which matched her diminutive size and was very cute. She told me I could buy something for my wife, I said that I did not have a wife. She said I could buy something for my girlfriend, I said I did not have a girlfiend. She smiled and said I could buy something for my boyfriend and I laughed. So, I finally gave her $30Qtz ($4US) if she would leave me alone.

It is also amazing how everyone in Guatemala has a cell phone. The Guatemalan women peddling their textiles and jewelry have cell phones. Even the fisherman in a dugout canoe is talking on his cell while fishing. For a country with around 50% of the population at or near the poverty line, everyone seems to have a cell phone.

 It was time to leave Guatemala and I was heading to El Salvador in the morning. I really enjoyed my time in Guatemala, the country is beautiful and the people are so friendly. I hope I come back for another visit someday. Chao for now.